JACK'S YARNS: MY GREAT ADVENTURE (1915)

Description

Date: 15 April 1915

Transcript:

MY GREAT ADVENTURE.

I had this week what one might call
A big adventure here,
I had a bigger haul than what
At first sight might appear,
And had a letter down to-day,
Congratulating me,
And all because I'd captured here
Two Huns quite easily!

I'll tell you how the thing occurred:
I took a stroll one day,
‘Long by the cliffs due north from here,
Near five miles, I should say.
In fact, I went ‘way past my beat,
And just was turning round
To go back home, when, bless yer heart,
A motor-boat I found.

[cartoon of Jack finding a boat]
I found a motor-boat.

Yes, there it was, and hidden well
Between two jutting rocks;
She couldn’t have been safer had
She been in London docks.
“Hullo!” I says. “You ain’t adrift.
Who ever left you here?”
And climbed aboard, and something found
That made it all quite clear.

I found, wrapped in some canvas aft—
It gave me quite a start—
Big sausages and lager beer,
Also a North Sea chart!
“Great Scot!” I cries, “I’ve tumbled on
A little German plot.
I’ll bang about, and, if I can,
I'll bag the bloomin’ lot.”

[cartoon of Jack with a sausage and a bottle of beer]
Who said “Vaterland”?

‘Twas late that night before I was
Rewarded for my wait.
Two figures in the darkness passed,
“Two Huns, at any rate,”
I says; and, as they crept along,
I shouts, “Hands up; you two!”
They did it instantly, just like
The Germans always do.

They begged an’ prayed, they cringed an’ whined
To me their lives to spare
They offered me an Iron Cross,
That bauble they all wear.
They grovelled at my feet. “Here, stop,”
I shouts, “your bloomin’ row!
Behave like men.” But, bless yer heart!
A German don’t know how!

[cartoon of Jack discovering two German soldiers]
The breed of the Huns.

“Now, right about in front o’ me,”
And off I marched the twain,
Yet sev’ral times they tried on me
Their grovelling tricks again.
“Ve’re German officers,” they cried,
“Ve promise not to run.”
“Chuck it!” I says. “I’d not believe
The sworn word of a Hun.”

I got ‘em safely home at last,
And made them tell me who
Supplied the motor-boat and grub;
And soon I’d got a clue
Of what turned out up here to be
A huge conspiracy.
Ye’d hardly credit how they work
These things from Germany.

[cartoon of Jack pointing a gun at the German soldiers]
Hands up!

These “officers” had both escaped,
Assisted, without doubt,
By someone whom the country would
Be better far without.
A traitor—worse luck, we have some
Who all their souls have sold
For—what? A little paltry bribe
Of dirty German gold.

I’d like to tell you who it was,
To publish forth his name,
And make the dirty dastard hide
His head in very shame.
They will not let me tell; you’d not
Believe me if I did.
But may the day dawn soon when of
These leeches we’ll be rid.

Source:
McMann, W. ‘Jack’s Yarns: “My Great Adventure”.’ The Brecon County Times. 15 Apr. 1915. 7.

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